The Antidote: TRUTH

woman playing in sun

 

So where do I go from here? This mucky, stuck place time’s held me captive for so long? You know this place now too, because I’ve dragged you right along with me through it all, so you could see the struggle is real…or just maybe, you live here as well…

Well, I’ve found as I’ve wrestled through life that in God’s grace I always seem to circle around to TRUTH. It’s always the antidote. The truth is, it’s me that’s fabricated time’s villainy (with a lot of help from my meddlesome archenemy). Time—it’s innocuous. Innocent. This verity I’m learning…accepting. Slowly…

So now, from here, I follow the path my Navigator is faithfully illuminating before me—sometimes inch by inch. Because He knows this keeps me seeking. For now, it’s about clawing, climbing my way out of time’s tomb in His strength, toward the truth that will set me free.

One of this season’s casualties has been my confidence: I’ve experienced frustrating regression in the (few) areas I had been proficiently managing my time before the eruption, rendering me messier (and later) than ever before. Leaving me wondering if I can handle anything at all, let alone everything on my plate…

But thankfully, God never leaves us alone in our mess. At the bitter worst of it, He was faithful to meet me in the tissue pages of my Bible, where TRUTH resides–waiting to be unearthed; waiting to transform. He directed me to search for a Scripture notecard I’d tucked there years ago–exactly perfect for such a time as this. I pulled it out, balm for my fragile heart in that instant, and posted it where I couldn’t possibly miss it; a constant reminder of my priority calling, and most importantly, the Spirit power within to carry it out:

“For I have chosen [Leslie], so that she will direct [her] children and [her] household…to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just…so that the Lord will bring about for [Leslie and her family] what he has promised [her].” Genesis 18:19 (NIV) (Emphasis mine, replacing Abraham’s name)

Yes, ever faithful and after our best, the Lord’s been working on my heart for months now as it pertains to time, probably leading up to this gritty season…which I’ll not-so-affectionately call “Coming to a Head”. Impressing on me the truth that time is a gift to be relished and enjoyed, not feared and despised. And another key truth: that for change to be possible, a mindset/lifestyle shift was in order–a Sabbath shift.

He dropped this word into my spirit almost a year ago and I’ve been mulling it over ever since…leading me to a study; a fixation of sorts for a season on the Sabbath as God intended it. Which is a far cry from what it’s become in many households, ours included. Sadly, around here Sunday’s become a day to play catch up after Church. It grieves my heart to waste this Sabbath goodness–this blessing just waiting to be seized, enjoyed. Blessing that promises to restore our time-torn souls…slowing our frantic spinning and setting us to rest in Divinely-intended abundance.

And though I’m desperate for it, I’m as guilty as any—of stuffing my Sundays too full.

I’ve felt God’s leading for some time that the Sabbath–His gift to us–is the key to restoring much of the mess misuse of time has left in my life, and in our family unit. And so I’ve been working (work in progress) to reserve this time each week–to preserve it. Clearing our schedule to make space for Sabbath rest, just like God did in the beginning–think about it. As He made time, He also made time—to rest on the seventh day.

When I honor it, it’s infinitely refreshing. Rejuvenating. Like a mini-vacation for breathing. Resting. Relishing space. In the process, I’m asking God earnestly how to replicate this placid pause — this therapeutic time-out — during the week. However that might look…there has to be a way to capture at least a portion of the Sabbath essence in the midst of the weekday rush.

When I think of this battle of mine with time, it’s most often in terms of abundance and scarcity…abundance–the sweet spot I aspire to, dream of, desire wholeheartedly; and scarcity–the hell the enemy wants to relegate me to forever; time’s dungeon: devoid of peace, rest and joy.

Like a Shakespearean tragedy, the work of the beauty banisher plays out in the fertile soil of our frenzied moments, joy’s luster clouded by the dust of the rush. And our contentment stores take a fatal blow, as scarcity settles in a thin film over our thirsty souls.

Well, I’m not having it anymore…I want the luster back.

I want my JOY back.

{Stay tuned for more of my struggle, in Making Peace With Time…}


peace with time{Making Peace With Time is a blog series chronicling my struggle to harness and live peaceably with time, finding the blessing in all of it. Time, it’s a gift from above…may its Creator use this journey to wash my eyes, that at the end, I might behold it as such, victorious over my ticking captor…}

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